SpeedSportsStatistics
olympic_rings.gifSports
If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.
Poker (1), Sports (12), Gambling (1)Paul Newman (1)
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Sports (12), Racing (1)Mario Andretti (1)
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Sports (12), Fishing (1), Idiots (3)Steven Wright (2)
Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong.
Boxing (3), Sports (12)Muhammad Ali (5)
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Computer (1), Sports (12)Emo Philips (2)
Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up.
Boxing (3), Sports (12)Muhammad Ali (5)
If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving.
Sports (12), Skydiving (1)Henry Youngman (1)
I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my bedroom and was in bed before the room was dark.
Boxing (3), Sports (12), Light (4)Muhammad Ali (5)
Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
Sports (12), Jogging (1), Television (3)Victoria Wood (1)
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
Sports (12)Steven Wright (2)
I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.
Sports (12), Failures (5), Mistakes (5)Earl Warren (1)
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.
Alcohol (10), Sports (12), Win (1), Lose (2)Homer Simpson (7)
SpeedSportsStatistics