| Alcohol | Animals | Argue |
 | Animals |
| I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. | |
| Animals (12), Dogs (4), Pigs (1), Cats (1) | Winston Churchill (12) |
| It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. | |
| Animals (12), Dogs (4), Fight (2) | Mark Twain (16) |
| We are the only animals that let our kids come back home. | |
| Mankind (7), Children (4), Home (1), Animals (12) | Bill Cosby (1) |
| If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. | |
| Mankind (7), Animals (12), Dogs (4) | Mark Twain (16) |
| Some days you're the dog - some days you're the hydrant. | |
| Animals (12), Dogs (4) | Anonymous (9) |
| Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter. | |
| Scientists (1), Animals (12), Earth (3), Cows (1) | Dave Barry (2) |
| Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies. | |
| Mankind (7), Lies (5), Animals (12) | Mark Twain (16) |
| Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. | |
| Humor (1), Literature (5), Animals (12) | E. B. White (1) |
| The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk. | |
| Lawyers (1), Roads (2), Animals (12) | Patrick Murray (2) |
| Critics are to authors what dogs are to lamp-posts. | |
| Critics (1), Literature (5), Animals (12) | Jeffrey Robinson (1) |
| What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad. | |
| Earth (3), Simulations (1), Animals (12), Asteroids (1) | Dave Barry (2) |
| All animals are equal but some are more equal than others. | |
| Animals (12), Nature (2) | George Orwell (1) |
| Alcohol | Animals | Argue |